Over July 4th, Justin and I took our son K on his first trip with family. It was designed to be a pretty easy extended family “vacation” — just 90 minutes to San Antonio for 3 nights at a kid friendly resort. Nothing over the top or too fancy, just pool time and casual family meals. Justin and I were excited to see K hang out with his cousins, go in the pool, and experience a bunch of firsts together.
Welp, from the start of the trip, everything pretty much went to shit. Temps in Texas were in the triple digits, and the car ride from Austin to San Antonio started out with K being very fussy. While we got some nice pool time and made fun memories that afternoon, the first night in the hotel was probably one of the worst we have had since K was born. Justin and I slept maybe 60 minutes combined. At one point, I climbed INTO the Pack N’ Play with K to rub his back because it was the only way he would stop crying. There was a 3am Target trip (that was Justin). The next day was a blur, but the next night was improved (though the bar was pretty damn low). After two nights, we ended up coming home early, defeated, beaten down, and counting the hours until we could send K back to daycare.
To be clear, this is definitely the upper middle class dual-working parenthood trying to find a way to enjoy life while also managing a toddler version of things falling apart (eg. world’s smallest violin!). There are many other moments in life that are much more of a true falling off the rails (yes, I’ve experienced them, I dropped out of school to be in a cult, hi!).
What struck me about the trip was that failure at even such a little goal was a gut punch to me. For sure part of this is that I’m just starting to uncover how burnt out I am from the past few years of my life (birthing a baby, a book, a business). But, what was unexpected was that I hadn’t acknowledged to myself how much I just wanted to have some FUN with my family. When our plans were thwarted, I internalized the failure.
So for this week’s Therapy Takeaway, I’m sharing my tips for how to keep yourself afloat when your plans go awry and everything feels like a mess.
xo,
Pooja
Your Therapy Takeaway
We all face times when life serves up lemons. Making lemonade might not be natural for your personality, but the good news is that there are actionable strategies you can apply to learn how to approach things differently.